…. Unexpected Death

I haven’t been blogging much this year … I’ve been feeling burned out, unmotivated, and distracted.

Then I was dealt a blow on January 21st …. I lost one of my best friends … Nate.

I’ve know Nate for about 16 years, we had some good times, and made some great memories.

I started dating my future wife 2 weeks before he started dating his future wife, our Junior year in High School.

He’s been there for the birth of my kids, their birthdays, Christmas, and many New Years. He’s helped me move countless times, became a big brother figure for my wife, and an honorary uncle to my kids.

He gave me far more then I could ever give him. But that’s the kind of person he was.

In the last two week I have literally felt like I was in a snow globes and someone has shaken it up.

I’ve gone through the whole gauntlet of emotions, mad, angry, really angry, sad, depression, empathy, remorseful, guilty, sorrow, lamenting, regretful. and acceptance.

Having a funeral for a 28 year old guy is painful.

It makes me rethink everything

If something happened to me tomorrow, what would my life say about me.

would the things in my email confirm what kind of person I am?

Would that things in my desk at work show what I am passionate about?

Would my co-workers know who I was?

Will what’s on my computer represent me well?

How will my life effect those that loved me?

How will people remember me?

what’s the right balance between work and family?

What do my possessions say about me?

What does it mean to believe in God?

What really matters in the end?

It also has me thinking practically too. Like What would I want my funeral to look like? because I don’t want my family having to stress out about little decisions that in the end don’t matter.

I don’t want a fancy casket that someone has to spend their retirement fund on buying. In fact I don’t want a casket at all. Go buy something beautiful, have me cremated and put me in it.

I don’t want my funeral to be at a church, and I don’t want any pastors narrating my life. I want an open mike, and invitation to those present to get up and share something about me. The good, the bad, and the ugly. When people leave I want them to have a sense that I was human, not the best man that ever lived, or a saint like the church bestows on people at their funerals.

I don’t want people dropping off vegetable trays, fruit trays, crock pots full of meatballs, little wieners, or your special home made soup. No body eats that crap in real life, so why would they want to eat that when I’m dead. If you want to help my family cope, buy gift cards for different restaurants, grocery stores, even target. so that why in a month after my death when all the friends and family are gone, they don’t have to cook every night, they can go to a nice restaurant together and just sit with each other and remember.

I don’t want organ music, or worship music, or any other kind of traditional music. Just make a mixed playlist of the best of StarFlyer 59. Their music has gotten me through all kinds of spots ….. again the good, the bad, and the ugly.

And I want something more unpredictable then a line of people waiting to tell my family how sorry they are. What about a box of cigars on a table, people can pick up on and  go outside, have a cigar, and curse me for being gone.

In the end I want my ideas to be left standing, after the emotion is gone, after people are back to living their lives, I hope I can leave something behind of value.

I don’t know what that will look like, honesty before 3 weeks ago I have never thought about my funeral.

anyways I digress … I imagine the pain fades at some point too … i just don’t know when

everything is a reminder of him

Just today I went to update my Resume, and he’s my personal reference … boy that was hard deleting him off

….Nate will be missed, he is loved deeply.

How Can The Church Help People In Hard Times?

You want to know what I want to see churches doing in 2009?

Instead of of brain storming about some new sermon series, or how to spend your marketing budget for 09.

Instead of adding another building on your campus, plastering your city your billboards, or creating a youtube channel for your church.

I would love to hear stories about churches thinking out of box on how they can help people who have already been hit hard by this economic crisis.

What about churches thinking about how you can make a better food pantry then any other church in the city, how instead of collecting money for your tithe and offerings, you encourage people to put gift cards for grocery stores and that can be handed out to people that need them.

Instead of a New members class, or another round of “Summer Cell Groups”. How about the church teaching people to grow a garden, even better, what if the church starts a community garden! or teaches people how to can food.

What about teaching people to live with in their means and how debt destroys their options in life.

What about a DIY retreat. Every church has members from all walks of life, find out who your mechanics are and have them teach people basics about keeping their cars up and running.

How about a coupon class, every church has some super thrifty ladies who make a killing off of coupons. What about some of the older ladies teaching the younger ladies how to cook! or sew!

What about taking those tech savvy people in your church and having them teach people easy ways to build a better resume, find jobs online, and how to subscribe to an rss feed of job openings in your area.

How about teaching the people in your church a skill, that they can go out and get a better higher paying job and actually improve their living conditions?

Having open community brainstorming sessions on how the church is going to survive if things get worse.

Does  the church in a depression look different then a church in the boom economy?

Nooma 022 // Tomato

Most of us grew up believing that our worth comes from how smart, competent, fast, better skilled and good we are. But Jesus invites us to die to all of that so that we can really live

So you don’t want to go to church anymore?

I realized I had been a christian for over two decades, I  had no concept of who Jesus was as a person and no idea how I could change that…p23

A buddy of mine sent me a link to this PDF Book called “So You Don’t Want To Go To Church Anymore”. he raved about how it changed some of his views about how the church functions.

Well I’m a sucker for a free book, so I downloaded the PDF and began to read, and I’ll admit I was having a hard time getting into it.

Then the third chapter hit me, hard.

The whole book seems dangerously close to my story give or take the time frame and a few supporting details, and after the 3 chapter I was hooked in. I then read it continuously for 3 days and finished the whole book.

You may be worried at this point that this is just another sucker punch aimed at the church, filled with Pastor-hater one liners.

Well your wrong.

the tone of the book is NOT that church is bad and people shouldn’t go, there are lots of good healthy churches that help people grow. I can testify to this with my story and people I know.

It questions the institutionalized Church

Definitions

From wordreference.com institution > an establishment consisting of a building or complex of buildings where an organization for the promotion of some cause is situated

From Dictionary.com > 1.    an organization, establishment, foundation, society, or the like, devoted to the promotion of a particular cause or program, esp. one of a public, educational, or charitable character.

2.    the building devoted to such work.

From Wikipedia > Institutions are structures and mechanisms of social order and cooperation governing the behavior of a set of individuals.

To Many Hats To Wear

I think being a Pastor is a no win situation, there are as many successful Pastor as there are Lottery winners. That’s the harsh reality of ministry.

Not that I put that blame on the Pastors themselves, I believe most people who go into ministry are well intentioned people who love God and want to help other people connect to God like they do…..that was certainly my motivation for going to bible school, and wanting to go into ministry.

I think a huge portion of the problem comes from the pressure of our society. Dictating what what a church must look like, what success looks like, and the over all importance placed on visually progress.

I am concerned with how we train pastor’s. There seems to be such a disconnect of pastor who understand the history of the church. Yes..I said history. I know that doesn’t sound spiritual or sexy but if you don’t understand history, you are condemning yourself to repeat it. and Lets be honest, some horrible things have been done in the name of the church.

We measure the value of our Pastor on whether they can keep us awake for an hour on Sunday morning. We have  put this enormous pressure on their shoulders to entertain us. That’s why you see so many churches switching to the video and media format. Churches are being driven by the pursuit of technology in order to retain their customers. That’s not a typo.

The Line Between Business And Church

One of influencing factors of why I left the church was because I felt like a customer instead of a member. and that Sunday Morning was a product  with a shinny package, instead of the word of God.

This race to make churches more relevant is creating huge monstrous programs in the process. Programs that’s Pastor don’t have the man power to over see, and people start falling through the cracks.

Members then become cogs of a giant system, and Pastors start saying things like ” we need you here”. Because it’s impossible to fill all the volunteer spots in the nursery, and children’s church, and someone has to run PowerPoint, and the sound system, and teach the new life group, and help set up or tear down after service.

Any human system will eventually dehumanize the very people it seeks to serve and those it dehumanizes the most are those who think they lead it….p106

Again it’s not churches, or pastors, or technology that’s bad.

The Power of The Gospel

Don’t you realize the most powerful thing about the gospel is that it liberates us from the concept that God dwells in any buildings….p41

That’s why Jesus cleanse the temple. What was suppose to be a place for people to connect to God, had been turned into a place to make money. It created a caste system.

Those who were poor and needed God forgiveness, and those who become rich off the poor. It was their job to teach the people how to connect with God, and yet they used the temple (the church) to provide them financial security and power over the laymen.

That’s why Jesus’ death is so threatening to those bred in religious obligation…p51

One of the problems that Hebrews deals with is the idea that Christians don’t have to go to the temple and make sacrifices anymore. It was so programmed into their minds they couldn’t imagine having a relationship with a God where they weren’t required to do something.

How to Be A Good Christian

Isn’t it pretty clear here what being a good Christian is, and isn’t a big part of that not to make an waves or ask questions that make people uncomfortable….p49

I can tell you story’s about questions pastors don’t like to hear. In fact I didn’t have a lot of problems in church until I started questioning. Experts never like their authority challenged.

That’s the danger of religion. It only exist as long as people think the church is the authority. The result is of course that the church has to make people dependent on their leadership. I think it makes far to many Christians passive about pursuing their own relationship with God.

Religion survives by telling us we need to fall in line or some horrible fate will befall us….The whole system has a hook in it….p74

Are You Threatened Or Challenged?

I imagine this post will make more Christians mad then challenged. In my opinion the root of being threatened is either you feel unqualified in your position, or you have a belief system, a dogma that you have to defend to the death.

I wish it wasn’t that way, but the institutionalized church forces it’s members to defend it right or wrong to the bloody end. People don’t think straight when they are to closely attached to an institution. It’s like having a blind spot while your driving, it’s not necessarily your fault, but at the same time your accountable for what happens.

Churches get messy, I felt like I was having a divorce when I left my church. It was emotionally hard. I had been there so long and developed so many memories.

This is the point where I say you really should read the book, you can down load it here. I know hardly anyone will take me up on the offer, but if you do read it, I love to have a conversation with you about your thoughts.

Pagan Christianity

My First Impression

My first impression of this book was that Barna was going to play it safe and sweep it all under the rug. Maybe he would admit to some pagan roots but surely he has too much to lose with his reputation.

I am pleased to say Frank Viola and George Barna did not play it safe.

I would encourage every Pastor, Worship Leader, Elder, and Church volunteer to read this book. For some it may be shocking, for others  it’s another reinforcement that Christianity does in-fact have many pagan connection. But this time instead of coming from a atheist or an agnostic, it comes from respected christian authors.

This isn’t a new idea for me, I’ve already read several books about Christianity’s pagan roots, and watched a couple of really good documentaries on it. But what I like about Viola and Barna, is their conclusion. They didn’t decide to throw their Christianity away just because it’s not all shinny and slick.

Most research I’ve read become frustrated and just say ” well I guess all religions are worthless, So I  won’t believe in any of them.” In my opinion Viola and Barna present a more historical account of how Christianity has been hijacked. And what needs to happen in order to restore it to it’s true origins.

Hard Facts To Swallow

Don’t get me wrong there are some hard blows to the christian church in this book, and it doesn’t paint a pretty picture for the institutionalize of church, especially for Pastors. We have gone down the road of turning the church that was suppose to be a dynamic living breathing creative organism into a static, predictable, profitable business. and In my opinion thats a huge shame.

To be honest though it was so refreshing to read a book where Christian heavy weights like Barna, who is said to be the most quoted Christian alive, have the same questions and doubts about the church that I do, and yet still manage to hold on to Jesus.

I would say this is a must read for anyone in ministry or thinking about going into ministry.

What Gets Under My Skin

I’ve read some other views about this book that I have posted below, the one that really gets under my skin is the one from “A Little Leaven”, who I read all the time. they post some really good and at times funny stuff. But their whole approach was that ” this is the poorest researched book they have read in a long time”, they go on to down play the whole book and try to make Barna sound like he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

It’s the arrogant Christian response that the world has become nauseated to, and it tells me straight up that they have never done any research into the roots of Christianity. You may not like what the book says, or even agree with everything, but to belittle it shows there are some Christians who are not ready, or simply can not handle this information.

A Little Leaven

review From Howard Snyder

Articles by Frank Viola

Read a Sample Chapter Here

New Nooma Preview // 021 SHE

This is the preview for the new Nooma video, She | 021

This one is sure to get the Christian RIght up in arms. Talking about the feminine image of God. It’s these kinds of topics that make the christian establishment hate Rob, and the seekers love him.

Rob has this ability to take topics that most Pastor would never touch ( I think because of lack of study and research) and to make sense out of the words and the meanings.

Give To Caesar What Is Caesar’s

I haven’t posted anything like this in awhile.

In Mark 12:15-17, the Pharisee are trying to get Jesus to say something they can arrest him for, mainly that Jews shouldn’t pay taxes to Rome. So they ask if Jews should pay taxes to Caesar or not. The whole problem of course that in Jewish culture carrying around a coin with an image on it, implied you worshipped that image. Remember the 10 Commandments!

‘You shall not make for yourself a carved image–any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.‘

The  inscription on the coin said.“Caesar Augustus Tiberius, son of the Divine Augustus.” To Jesus, this would have been blasphemous,the coin claims that Augustus was god.

So Jesus say “Show me a coin“, which I wonder why didn’t Jesus just pull one out. Unless he wasn’t carrying one….which would imply that Jesus doesn’t worship Caesar. But who does pull one out, a Pharisee. They very people who are suppose to be leading others in their relationship to God.

There is this thought in the Mishnah, which is considered to be the first important work of Rabbinic Judaism[3] and is a major source of rabbinic religious thought and Rabbinic commentaries. “That Caesar Had stamped every coin in his image, and God stamped every human in his.”

Since Caesar had created the coins in his image he could at any time ask for them back, in the form of a tax. So Jesus states, that because people are made in the image of God, He could also at any time request them back.

So in a way it’s give to Caesar what ever is his, his money and the stuff you can buy with money, and then go give your self to God.

which adds some insight into the rich young ruler. That before Jesus would allow him to follow him, he said go sell everything you have and give it to the poor. maybe Jesus wanted to see whether he worshiped God or Caesar.

A interesting thought.

The God’s Aren’t Angry DVD

So I just got my God’s Aren’t Angry DVD in the mail last night.

First impression is they did a great job with the packaging. Cardboard with a metallic red, but it’s the way it opens that really caught my eye. There is a pull out from the bottom

Second when you buy the DVD, they send you a CD of something called “Dawn in the Deep”, don’t know what it is yet.

It will be interesting to watch it, after going to hear him speak.

What If The Church….

…could make a food pantry experience, not feel like a food pantry

…could build entire housing complexes and give them away

…would provide free bus passes to people in the community who didn’t own cars

…could provide transportation for elderly people to go to the doctors

…could teach single moms a skilled trade for free, so they can get a better job

…could be the center of the community

What would it look like for a church to serve it’s community

What could be accomplished?

The God’s Aren’t Angry DVD

Thanks to this guy for the heads up. I just ordered the God’s Aren’t Angry DVD.

You can check out a video Clip Here